Well, loving to talk a lot, I really have many stories to share.

Here it goes..

She needs a quiet corner..

July 8, 2009
She seems to restore her smile easily.. But somehow at times, she does need a quiet corner for her to cry her inner pain out.. Just a small corner..

Father, may Your grace and joy be showered upon this dry soul and restore her smile from inside out, always.. ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

The vacuum within..

July 7, 2009
"For God, I chose to forgive, both, with zero condemnation.. And I will choose to forgive again if it repeats, for God loves forever. And thanks for not taking His mercy for granted.."

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

155 - 177 .. =="

June 17, 2009
Just now I was quite excited to check out my latest height. (Now a bit regret though..) Then I ran to daddy and said..

"Daddy I think i grow taller ho.. Hehee.." Dunno why I kept thinking that I'm about the same height as daddy and mummy all this while. ==" I was too innocent and thought too 'big' of my height.. Haih..

Then daddy suggested to measure lo. So he took out his measuring tape plus a pencil, and started penciling on the wall.. == Sounds like a naughty boy (To me, still he is.. Ahehehee~). Then I stood there and daddy took the measure..

"Ha?! 155 nia meh? So short meh me.. T.T Daddy you le? Lai lai lai, I help you measure yours.."

He got 171cm.. 16cm of difference..? T_T K, I lost.. Somemore this height of mine 'maintains' since more than 3 years ago.. =="

Then in front of the 'selected wall' to sketch the measuring scale, is a long mirror. So I tried to see how much different is my height from 177cm through the mirror.. ==" A bit too big.. Haih.. 算了吧..

That's why Stephanie, I told you to be glad for being this short (sounds so wrong ==") for at least you can wear heels as high as you like and you will still be shorter..

==" But ho.. Still think I need to praise God for making me as who I am, for He always knows what's best for me.. ^^ Thank You Father..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

Hot Hot HOT!!

June 15, 2009
Oh man, the weather is seriously hot!

Location: Kapit < Sarawak < Malaysia < Asia..

Okay, stephanie cut the crap please.. =="

Haih.. So regret, shouldn't wear long sleeves.. Super hot now coz am helping mummy to look after the dumpling stall ma, sitting besides a big hot steamer somemore.. ==

Posted by Nie Cristal

 

10-10 or 5-15..?

June 14, 2009
Hehee.. Hmm, Since it won't matter how many to be made by mummy, for hers is very flexible, so now depends on me nia ho.. ^^

Wanna do manually meh..? ==" Haiyo, just let me be the one doing the mixing, then.. Ei?! Can consider I do for 75% liao lo! Hehee.. Good good.. So 10-10 nia la, hehee.. 75% is good enough.. lol..

Happy happy.. whee~ ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

The ever-growing love..

June 13, 2009
Share one story about this girl with you all..

The more she loves him, she slowly finds herself to love his family more, too..

Now to her, they are no longer his family, but their family.. She starts to care about how they are doing.. And things get to be working out better for her.. Less nervousness, more excitement, and greater peace..

One more prayer answered..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

Ill..

June 11, 2009
T.T How come get ill ki le..

Actually since last night, I already started to get flu.. Somemore sleep in air-cond room, it's really uncomfortable to breath while sleeping.. I always face this when I'm back home. I think my nose really is sensitive..

Whuaaaa.. Really very uncomfortable.. Now can online also not feeling happy liao.. How to sleep tonight..

Need a hug of comfort now.. ==" But don't get near me to give me a hug la now, unless you don't mind to get 'infected' by me.. T_T So ke lian..

Daddy said it's because of being in a dry environment - I have been sitting right in front of the blow of air-cond with my laptop in front of me.. == Maybe true also lo what daddy said..


Daddy asked me to drink more water.. And yes, I have been drinking this bottle, keep refilling somemore.. No it's not time for me to enjoy the Scotch Whisky now, it's just one of the bottles that we use as drinking bottles at home..

Father, I thank You for everything that You have allowed me to go through in life.. And Lord I ask for Your strength of healing to work on me.. ^^ Thanks for giving me the only hug of comfort when I need one the most.. I worship You Lord, love You..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

So sweet..

June 11, 2009
Actually, God really is so good and loving to us.. ^^ Jesus promises that our life is full of troubles for the development of our better inner self. But then ho, besides all the troubles that we are facing in life, still God lets us experience many sweet things.. ^^

And I know that our life is not always sweet, thus please appreciate it whenever you are blessed with sweet moments in life.. ^^ Thank You Father.. I love You..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

Mummy's back!

June 11, 2009
Okay, so the great baker and cook of the house is now back.. ^^

Well so this morning should be the last time I bake the dumplings for mummy.. Hehee.. Think that's a good news ho.. Haih, actually baking dumpling is also not so bad a task to help la.. Just need to wake up by about 6 - 6.30am.. Then after baking it's just nice to have a cup of hot drink and chat with daddy on the dining table.. Quite nice though..

It's not easy to have chance like this le, sitting down together and share things we have been through. We sisters are all studying at different states, then only come back home twice a year for holiday plus once for Chinese New Year. Hmm.. Thank God for taking care of my family.. ^^ Indeed it's true, Home Sweet Home..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

Back..

June 9, 2009
In life, we get to travel a lot.. And as posted few days ago, my mind is now back in Malaysia.. ^^ Thank God for journey mercy, thank God for protection..

Yes I'm happy, very happy.. ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

Seriously a 'fruitful' day..

June 7, 2009
Praise God aa.. Today really was blessed with many different fruits.. Hehee.. Let's share one by one of what we have had just now.. ^^


So-called desert longan given by our neighbor this morning.. ^^ The flesh super thick and big le..

Then amelia suddenly talked about wanting to drink coconut drink and she asked if the coconut at our backyard already could be eaten. Only then that I knew that we actually have a huge coconut tree behind our house.. =="


Daddy said this tree was planted since early 1990's.. Howh.. It's true that we need tens years for trees to grow aa.. Anyway, the bamboo was daddy's extending tool. At the higher end of it was tied with a knife.


Here he is, the hero of fruit plucker.. :P On the same roof that we climbed to pluck water apples before..


Daddy 'operating' the coconut.. Only managed to drop 3 this time. Actually was 4, but one got stuck up the tree.. =="


Beautiful.. See the fresh coconut juice pouring down like the rushing tape water.. ==" any better description than tape water, stephanie..


Praise God aa.. Here we go with one full jar of coconut juice and one big bowl of the coconut flesh.. Er by the way, Carlsberg doesn't sell coconut juice k..


Then since daddy was on the roof plucking coconut, so he also dropped few 'kuini' (sorry dunno the actual spelling yet..) super nice smell too.. ^^


Then also these water apples.. But ho, I dunno why this time the water apples like super out of shape one. When I asked, daddy said these type one is smaller (uglier, I say) and have no seeds. Hmm.. But haven't tasted.. Will see if it's nice later..

All in all, really praise God for all that He has blessed us. Eat local fruit better ho.. ^^ (But have to wait for ten years, like the coconut tree.. ==")

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : family 

 

Today's pau.. ^^

June 7, 2009
So today's the second day I baked pau for mummy, with daddy's help as usual. Then just now I really took my sweet time cutting the dough, trying my best to cut more equally. Let's see how's it when it's out of the steamer!


Howh.. Stephanie's pau fresh from the steamer.. Hehee.. Oh by the way, the 'shield' of the steamer was built by daddy.. Special credit to the man of the house.. ~clap clap


Hmm.. Today's pau seemed to be more similar in size, i think.. Er.. Don't give up stephanie! (See the great assistance of mine behind..) :P


Hehee.. It's time to taste one! Come and try this in Kapit.. But come when my mummy is here la.. =="

Hopefully won't hear another call saying, "lu eh pau kana sai" again.. Lol..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : food 

 

Wa eh pau kana sai? ==

June 6, 2009
This morning, as 'commanded' (aiseh.. :P willingly la..), I woke up early to bake mummy's Bak Pau. Here, a great thanks to daddy for his great assistance.. Having been assisting mummy all these years, surely he is already well-trained. ^^

Praise God everything I did within the time limit that mummy told me earlier. Or else the pau will be over-yeasted. But of course, I knew I can't bake as great as mummy lo.. Like how daddy kept encouraging me, saying "you first time ma.." ^^

Then this evening when I called granny, as usual with her loud and strong voice.. By the way, the conversations were in Hokkien, so I try my best to provide some English translation la ha.. It's really not easy, some are just direct translation, bear with me ha..

"Ka lu eh mummy kong, yi eh pau jhin jit kana sai! Wu tua wu sei, siang ha mik?"
( Tell your mummy, her dumplings today are terribly ugly! All are of different sizes, like what?)

Howh.. == Wa eh pau kana sai? (My dumplings are terribly ugly?) I understand why is she always so kinteo (concern) about mummy's pau, coz she was the one baking and selling pau last time, then passed down to mummy (mummy secretly changed her recipe liao of course), then now.. passed down to me..? ==" Think too much..

Anyway, I tasted two pau this morning before sending the pau out for sale aa.. Then still taste very nice aa.. Just that the bun tasted a little (really really little) different from mummy's. Maybe I didn't beat long enough or what.. But then, kana sai meh.. (really are terribly ugly?) =="

"Ah ma, pau si wa jho eh.. == Mummy chut mui. Tapi jhin ho jhiak le.." I said, innocently somemore..
(Granny, I was the one baking the dumplings. Mummy is travelling. But tasted very nice also le..)

Hmm.. my granny.. Get used to her already.. ^^ Though her mouth sometimes is a bit (think is very) 'sharp', but her unexpressed love for us really makes me love and respect her more. Well so, haih.. tomorrow have to cut the dough more carefully.. So that the size more or less equal. Or else.. Granny will have more to say about it..


Howh.. Three so different sizes meh..? Hehee.. No la.. Actually the smallest one I purposely did one la for myself to try and see whether the pau tasted ok or not. But then the super big and ugly one.. Er.. ==" Dunno why so jhao heng one, but in the end also eaten by amelia, coz she super likes mummy's bun. ^^" Luckily granny didn't get to see this super jhao heng one, or else surely she scolded more.. ==


So overall, still ok la ho.. though some ugly some nice.. Hehee.. Still taste great! But seriously some looked a bit small.. =="


For sure I just feel like laughing every time I think of how granny said about my pau kana sai.. XD

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : Hokkien post 

 

Secret Home Recipe Bak Pau..

June 5, 2009
Mummy is now traveling for her association programs for few days. Thus, supposed, no one will be baking her dumplings for these few days. Then.. ==" I didn't know what wind brought my face into her mind, that she called for me to the kitchen this morning. I supposed I knew I was going to have a new task.. ~.~"

"Mummy prepare these three sets of ingredients, you help me bake pau for these few days yea, " mixing her secret ingredients, she 'kindly informed' me her plan. Hmm.. Actually I used to help her for this also whenever I was at home for holidays. Not so a big problem la. I also tried to bake empty pau as gifts and blessings to few families before, so I should say I'm quite interested dealing with kitchen stuff. Now it's just a matter of skills..

Hmm, so she told me daddy will help me prepare the pork fillings, and now that she has prepared the ingredients for the bun, so my job is to be the 'machine' to process her Bak Pau - beat the mix and insert the fillings, then steam the dumplings. Good also la.. Coz I personally very like to eat her Bak Pau, seriously is both filling and bun are superb. Hehee.. So now that I'm learning the process of baking it, sooner or later will be learning the secret home recipe liao lo.. Then that time I can bake it myself and bless people around me.. ^^ Good aa..

..piak!! ~~" Don't dream so fast first la this girl.. Haih.. See how things turn out first when you bake for the first time tomorrow.. Think too much.. ==

Hmm.. But still quite excited le.. ^^ Ok.. Bake pau bake pau tomorrow!  ..whee~

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : food 

 

Swimming.. ^^

June 4, 2009
Finally, yesterday evening we three sisters went swimming in the public swimming pool.. I remembered I told amelia that I now could swim already.. So winnie was saying that she wanted amelia to teach her. Well, amelia went for swimming training few years ago. Surely she is always the one we turn to when it comes to swimming..

Then, when we got into the pool, and tried to swim.. == Suddenly, I heard this very discouraging sound..

"Wei, that is not swimming la.. You must put your face inside the water ma.. Then only turn your head out to inhale," said amelia the miss instructor. ==

So I went to this expert and lined up for my turn for 'swimming lesson' together with winnie. While I was still struggling to learn inhaling and exhaling while swimming, I heard another cry of happiness..

"Yeah! I did it! Nah, just now who laughed at me that I couldn't swim.." insulted winnie. I just couldn't stop laughing, coz the whole situation was so funny.. Laughed until I nearly couldn't breath in the water.. Haih.. So I swung my hands here, swung my hands there.. Drank water here, drank water there.. == Just couldn't get to swim.. Quite sad aa that time.. Like, couldn't accept the fact that at the end, I was the last one who still couldn't swim correctly.. T_T

Then mummy came to watch us swimming. Oh yea, the pool i think very dirty aa. With a layer of visible fungus on the floor of the pool.. == Haih.. Say liao also feel awful now.. But then we still continued swimming.. ==

Finally, I tried and tried.. Though drank quite an amount of water, still I persevered.. Aiseh, say until like very great like that.. == Just before we went back, I got to swim correctly till the centre of the pool! So happy aa me.. Hehee.. We plan to go more often after this.. ^^ But haih.. After bathing, our hair all got a bit hardened.. Still, ^^ we enjoyed swimming, especially me now.. whee~ Thank God for water and the ability to enjoy it.. Our God is the greatest designer! ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : Swimming 

 

The mind is now floating in another country..

June 3, 2009
Hmm.. Never know missing someone can cause you to call out that someone's name even when you are looking at your sisters, your mummy or your daddy..

And even to the extend that you lose your hold over your tears when you get to hear that someone's voice out of surprise..

"I know I'm loso.. But take good care of yourself in that foreign land.. Remember to do quiet time everyday.. Do things that are pleasing to God's eyes, and.. I'm waiting for you to be back.."

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

Got my P license already!!

June 2, 2009
Hehee.. Finally, I got my P driving license last 9th of May 2009. Very happy aa me.. ^^

Here, wanna share some of my early driving-stories..

I have been very excited in driving, though am still an 乌龙 driver now. Well, many friends told me that it is normal for a 'new driver' to be such excited, sooner or later I will feel bored of driving. Hmm.. I have no say about that yet for now. Let's get to my stories.. :P

After my first class driving a car in a mini driving institute, I kept finding opportunity to drive in the university. Here, a special thanks to mr. YWP for 'trusting' me in driving his wira. My extra 'courage and confidence' in driving nearly led to few scratches on his car. Phew~ It's still safe until now.. Hehee..

I remember once when we girls had Cell Group outing, we rented a car. Coming back from Ipoh, I asked to practice driving around in the university before sending the rented car back to the owner - a UTP student too. Thus, sis nana, who is also a new driver at that time, accompanied me in the car. Hehee.. I know she was nervous and alert all the time that I was controlling the sterring. Then finally I decided to return the car after short practice. And I got stuck in front of the parking space.. == Coz I was still not confident in parking. Then there came the heroin, nana! Hehee.. She took over the car.

Here comes the funniest part. She also wasn't confident in parking. But surely with her P-license, she was considered better than me in parking the car lo. So she slowly parked..and finally! The car got into the space, just 'nice', with a closeness of only about half feet with another car on its left.. == I had to get out of the car from the driver seat.. Hahaa.. But then, still that was a great experience.. Hehee.. (pity the renter..)

Then with my continuous excitement for driving, even until now, I tried driving our church van few turns in the uni too. :P Of course, with mr. expert sitting besides me. The first time I parked beautifully was with hann's car, plus mr. expert's endless instruction besides me.. == I wasn't that good yet ma..

And I remember on my test day, praise God He granted me strength and ability to pass well. Even my instructor couldn't believe. Hehee..

Now that I'm back at home in Kapit, I am facing another uncle expert in driving.. == Before complaining, I shall present my gratitude to daddy and mummy who allow me to drive in Kapit even on the first day I reached home (actually that was yesterday).

I think if counted, I would have failed my driving test, said my uncle expert - daddy. But then one thing I'm grateful for is that, though he keeps pointing out my mistakes on the road, but he still lets me drive whenever there is an opportunity. Ehem, so far is only my second day driving only la, == so i don't know if I can still have the same allowance to drive later in this long holiday at home la..

One thing for sure, I'm still excited to drive.. ^^ Talking about courage to drive, I have a lot. But about skill and stability.. Err.. Hehee.. Give me some mroe time, I can do it by God's strength.. ^^ Thank You, Father..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

It has been so long since the last post..

March 21, 2009
Fuh.. Finally internet connection seems to work better.. It has been like few months ago since I had stopped updating my website due to the 'superfast' internet connection here at Village 5.. =="

Anyway, feel nice to post here again.. ^^ I have added a new link - Bible Crunch - to share with you all about what I learn from my quiet time with God. Enjoy your reading..

Just wanna say a short 'Goodbye' as I will be leaving soon for a compulsory program for Petronas scholars lasting for a week. Take care and may God bless you all.. ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : personal 

 

Water apples..

January 30, 2009
Few days ago, I was asked to pluck water apples..

Then yesterday, again, mummy asked me to pluck some more water apples as I didn't pluck a lot that day. Then I thought of calling for daddy to do it.. ^^ Surely he's a better 'plucker' ma.. Hehee..

So here he is, the Great Water Apple Plucker! ==" He sounds like a device..

See.. Using fish net some more.. ==" But well, he was already standing at the edge of the roof, and the water apples all so far one, so ok la.. still considered pass to be a good plucker.. ^^

And this..

^^ Passing the 'treasures' in the net to mummy..

And..

Wow! See, so full le.. ^^ Though they don't look very red, but really very juicy.. Ehem.. actually besides being juicy, also some are quite tasteless.. ==" But well, free fruit le.. Some more fresh one, hehee.. No poison no preservative.. Good for health.. ^^


Our water apple tree..

Hehee.. Really thank God for this tree, always bear nice fruit for us.. And I am now enjoying the water apples besides blogging.. Hehee..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : family 

 

Baking cookies..

January 24, 2009
Hehee.. It's the season to bake cookies again.. This time, mummy had baked few types of cookies before we came back.. Among them are frutty cookies, custard cookies and butter cookies..

Hmm.. So I decided to try something different this time.. ^^ Then I bought a pack of Kokokrunch and baked Kokokrunch cookies.. Hehee..

Here it started..

..the ingredients.. But except the Kokokrunch and butter, the rest of them I cannot tell le.. ^^ home-made secret recipe ma..


..the shape was suggested by mummy.. Quite nice ho.. But after it came out from oven.. ==".. A bit out of shape liao..

Then I changed the shape.. ^^ Aiya, for sure both nice to eat, just a bit too sweet coz I mixed the crushed Kokokrunch into the dough yet adding the same initial amount of fined sugar.. ==" So double sweetening process..


..another shape.. Just out from oven.. Hehee..

Well, using only half can of the butter, I managed to make only about two containers as big as this.. And this is the last container I could find at home.. T_T All the other containers mummy used for her earlier-batch of cookies already.. So I had to put the rest of my cookies in plastic bags..


Anyway, it's a great time baking at home again.. Thank God for His blessings of having this pair of hands and the money needed to buy the ingredients.. Thanks for the big oven at the back too.. ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : food 

 
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12th October 2008, exciting yet nervous evening.. 

Hehee.. Have a new mission to accomplish - making a gift for someone close to me! Hmm.. But have no idea of what to make..

 

List of stuff I've done for people as gifts :

~ cross-stitched keychain

~ a song without music arrangement

~ a song without lyrics

~ small pillows

~ D.I.Y cards

~ butter cookies

 

The one this time is a close one, need to make something meaningful.. What will this person like? Actually I've started composing my first song with complete arrangement since August as this gift, but sigh.. My trial-version music composer expired and there it goes, my progress stopped. Now I think maybe this time make something special, unique.. Which I never tried before.. Hmm.. What other skill do I have? Should I bake my home-made butter cookies like the one I gave to Pastor Yeong's family? Oh yea! I have learnt to bake frozen cheese cake.. Hehee.. Maybe can try that one.. Mm..? No, should make something that can be kept la.. Something memorable one ma..

Ei..?! What about.. Hehee.. Ok, set! Yeah! This gift-making process is going to be great! Thanks Father, for the idea.. And the talent you gave me.. Hehee.. 开工开工!!

 

6th October 2008, exciting night..

Having been hoping to have another prayer walk in UTP (I missed the first one). Finally, praise God that some brothers and sisters agreed to participate. I'm very excited! And after waiting for so long, I finally got 'permission' from two senior brothers. So everything's gonna be fine. Yeah! Tomorrow, prayer walk.. prayer walk!

It's exciting to pray for this campus. Hmm.. Hehee.. Very excited le. K, Stephanie, stop smiling weirdly to yourself la wei. Should get prepared for tomorrow. Excited! Let's look forward to our Morning Walk With Jesus!

 6th October 2008, joyful afternoon..

Very happy very happy very happy!

After quite a long period of being sad, the cheerful Stephanie's now back!

really thank God for answering my prayer, I got my problem solved. Hehee.. Don't ask me what's that problem la, very hard to share also, hehee.. Now I know I'm not that unappreciated. God planned it to help me learn something very important, that's to love selflessly. 

Yea, all I think about everyday is LOVE, be it loving God, loving people, or loving myself. ^^.. Lol..

For me, that's what drives my life; it's because of God's love that I'm here.

Feeling very happy that I'm loved, as a servant, as a child, as a friend, as a sister and.. anyone that I can be to other people lo.

Hehee.. The joy God restored in me continues from yesterday afternoon till now! Praise God, love you so much Lord! Really thank Him for loving me this much. Though sometimes feel like I'm unwanted, but should always remember that God always loves me yea..

Hmm.. Thanks to all brothers and sisters who have been cheering me up, helping me out throughout this period of sorrow. Really thank God for friends yea.. Sorry my friends, for spoiling the joyful atmosphere many times by pulling my face. Praise God I'm fine now. It's true that when we love others selflessly, we will be loved.

Love = Time

The best time to love = Now

How much time you are willing to spend for someone determines how much you love him/her. If you find it hard to express your love to someone, learn to give more of your time to him/her without hoping for a return. Because that's the best way you can make a person feel loved.

Love one more person today yea!

 4th October 2008, guilty midnight..

Coming back from dinner at Tronoh, we were stopped by the guard at the entrance. Intending to help our driver (mr. TH) who didn't bring student card, there was a series of passing student cards (including IC) to one another. But just too unfortunate that the guard found out about it.

At that moment, all that I could think about was fear. I was so afraid if the guard found that we're Christians, telling lies. I was so worried at one point. Until we were let go after getting scolded by the guard for telling lies, I felt relieved.

Initially, I planned to have my Household of Faith to pray for our family. But as I pondered over what had happened, I could feel deeply that God was greatly disappointed by us for the sin we committed earlier. I then had the burden to pray for our living testinony as Christians.

Prayer meeting was going on well, though there were only 5 of us. But surely God's presence is with us, even now. But really had a repentance over what we had just done - lying.

I still can't get the guilt out of me. Feeling so guilty for all the little sins that we've committed till now. As God says, there's no difference between big or small sins - all are sins which disappointed God.

God, thanks for convicting me..

 3rd October 2008, stronger morning, I hope..

Here're my hands, Father..

Waking up, I received something expected. I would have cried again by it, but wow, I didn't.. Just had a weird feeling of emptiness within me.. Don't know if that's healthy..

Hahaa.. Tired of running after someone who speeds off so fast. It's really time for me to learn to let go love like how God loves, not demanding for any return. Maybe by that, I'll be more contented. Yes I know I will, because God is teaching me to be strong through Him alone. I must learn. No more self-pitiness Stephanie! Man may not see you growing, but it's enough that God knows. Even it's a little growth..

Hmm, it's daddy's birthday, had wished him just now. But again, the same kind of response..

"Oh, good aa you call.. Ey, very noisy here. Cannot hear you. Later you call again la ha? Thank you. Bye bye.."

Yes, that's how my naughty daddy talks.. Sweat.. Sometimes I feel like we are friends - he likes to talk formally. Sometimes also feel like I'm more mature than him. Hahaa!

Well, one of my brothers in Christ had just lost his beloved father. It alerts me about daddy's salvation once again. To me, I really will be fine if anyone of my loved ones passes away. As long as I know they are saved by our Savior Jesus Christ. But hey, this daddy of mine makes me worried.. Seriously I myself is not that 'great' that I'm sure I'll enter God's Kingdom someday, but I'm really worried for my loved ones. Better I suffer than them.

Actually I'm not feeling fine now.. I should say I don't know what am I feeling now. But for sure it's not positive. But I don't want it to be negative la Father.. Should be glad that I'm feeling empty, at least I can hold the tears..

It's time for me to stand up firm, not begging others for attention yea.. Hahaa.. Sounds so pity, Stephanie.. Don't la wei.. God loves you so much k..

Praise God, I'm smiling to myself now. (-^_^-)

At least I don't make God feel sad by pulling my face when He has beautified my life so much.. Aiye..

Should make today a better day yea, rejoice in God la aiyo..

 3rd October 2008, empty midnight..

Wondering if it's a good day or not..

Yesterday, as usual, there're nice things that happened as well as not good things.But always, it's the not-so-good thing that manipulates our emotion for the rest of the day, ignoring the nice things that had actually made us smile earlier on. Well, that's normal especially for me. But thank God, I'm feeling better now.

God taught me something very important, that's to know completely that He's the only one for me to rely on without getting hurt. But, as girls who have stopped relying on any guy (meaning ever started boy-girl-relationship), we tend to need someone (besides God) for us to rely on.

Well, today's daddy's birthday le.. Must remember to wish him later. Hmm, so sad always can't celebrate for him at home. Obviously, 'cause it always is during study time; we're always not at home at this time.

Arghh! I really feel embarrassed now, for what I've just done in about 4 hours ago. I was too emotional that I let my own cat out of my bag, somemore to the person who should not be the one to know at all.. But thank God also, as I really feel relieved after pouring all feelings out, at least now I feel contented to be on my own.

It's not easy, but really praise God for His love embraces me so much that I'm able to stand up again.

Opps, it's 3.15am already, should sleep now yea.. Can't believe that I stay up this late for a website.. Lol.. Nite nite.. Zzz..

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