Yes, indeed God is all we need.. No one will satisfy us like He can..

 

Strengthen me Father..

June 19, 2009
I cry out to You Lord! Father calm me down, grant me the assurance that everything is under Your control Lord. Satan deceives me. He keeps lying to me that worse things would happen. Lord I cast him out of me in Jesus' strong name Lord. Father hold my hands tight Lord. I need You..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : Strength 

 

How much have I made You grieve..

June 16, 2009
Father, I kneel down at Your throne.. I worship You Lord, for Your endless love and mercy upon me.

Father, thank You for letting me feel this tiny portion of the grief that I have been making You feel all this while Lord. Thank You for letting me understand that I can make a difference in lives by choosing to love like You do Father. And Lord, I'm sorry for sinning all this while. Now I know how much, at least, do You feel for every time that we Your loved children choose to sin. But this least of pain that I have felt is really just what I can take. Lord, You are too great Father! I love You Father for everything.. Thank You for what that had happened - all hurt, all lesson, all reconciliation, all love.. God You are awesome! Take over my life once again Lord!

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : Strength 

 

I want a break-through..

June 6, 2009
Regarding yesterday's devotion material that talked about being holy in all that I do.. I fail to persevere today.. I have raised my voice for few times at amelia (my younger sis) today..

Feeling like defending myself by giving reasons why I gave in to raise my voice at her, but I know I have no good excuse at all. Coz I, too, have been a sinner and Jesus has shown me how He manages to always forgive me and love me this much. Why I can't even show this kind of love to my own sister? Some more is raising my voice few times in one day..

Father, before praying for amelia, I now pray and ask that you humble my heart and teach me how to love like you do. Grant me a break-through Father. I'm sorry Lord.. Thank you Father for always loving me..
In Jesus' strong name, amen.

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : break-through 

 

I love You!

June 5, 2009
Father, I have a lot to thank You for.. In fact, I should thank You for everything, especially for granting me this breathe now.. ^^

God, I praise You for the blessing that You have just granted me Father.. Seriously thank You so much.. And I love You so much Lord.. Help me learn to appreciate this blessing by being obedient to You more Father. Please keep reminding me that I'm a Christian every moment as this breathe continues Lord.. ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : God's blessings 

 

Being righteous in God's eyes..

June 4, 2009
"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." ~ James 5:15-16

The last sentence in the verse makes me realized why some of my prayers before this weren't answered: because I was unrighteous and self-centered. There was something shameful hidden in my life, and I was living a double life. I always thought I had repented, yet I continued the same mistake. A sister in Christ spoke to me about it, yet I took it lightly, and continued driving my way on the crooked path.

Just before I could knocked on the wall, God Himself pulled my break, and saved me all for once. I slowly took the step to be healed. Tough, very tough. Because it didn't involve me alone. To repent, I had to think of the people other than me that involved. And I chose to leave and walk towards God's light, bringing that hidden shame into the glory of God, alone.

To the eyes of the world, I was selfish because I left. But deep inside me I knew that was the best thing I could do for God, even if it means sacrificing relationships. "The best time to repent is now, don't drag and wait till things get worse. Nothing that falls short of God's glory can turn out to be better to God in any way." That was the urge by my faith within me.

Until I learned to walk in the light again; until I left the second life; until I let God cleanse and heal me, I could not serve Him like how I am today. I praise God for everyone whom He has used to save me. Though I know today somewhere in this world, there is someone who still couldn't forgive me for my 'selfishness', but I pray that God will also grant His healing, like how He is granting me mine.

Now I really believe that God works in and for righteous lives. Don't complain when God intervenes your life. Instead, pray that He always gets Himself involved in everything we do. So that we are alert to not give in to the temptations upon this sinful nature of ours.

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : Testimony 

 

The Triangle Love..

June 2, 2009
Yes, this is the love that I am seeking now. The triangle simply represents Him, him and her.

Here, I would like to share with anyone that are in a boy-girl-relationship about this love. On top of this triangle, is God, the two bottom edges are you and your partner.

Many times, partners tend to run after one another. It seems pretty sweet, but then the Triangle will collapse because the two edges have combined and transformed the triangle into a line.

Sometimes, one partner is running after another, while the other partner running after God. It sounds 'quite safe' with one partner being strong spiritually. But still, the Triangle will collapse, too, because one edge combines with the tip and again, the triangle changes to be a line.

Let's see if the three edges stay as where they are, separated. Hmm.. No no.. This won't work. Understanding and faith can't grow without being together as one body.

Now then, if both the partners run towards God at the top of the relationship, eventually they will both meet and unite with God. The Triangle is now a point. No matter where the point is, it is always that strong: its shape won't alter.

One thing we all of the same faith need to remember, that without God in the relationship, no relationship will last long in 'good condition'.

Erm.. This concept of Triangle Love is not my idea, it's something I heard from someone as an advice to my own relationship. I personally faced a great failure in relationship because of one of the 'altered triangle' situations above. And now, that I feel so want to share this with all of you who are reading this post now. Being in a boy-girl-relationship is not something wrong if you walk it through by God's way. But if you feel that your relationship is now falling under any of the 'altered triangle' situations above, please.. It's time to take the corrective step now. Even if it costs your long-built relationship, don't hesitate to make a U-turn now. You won't know how great God can bless you if you choose to follow Him even if it means to sacrifice a lot at that moment.

It's not easy, I know. I went through it. And I pray that anyone yoked by this burden now be set free in Jesus Christ's precious name. I'm not expert in counseling people regarding relationship matters. But if you need anyone to share anything that is burdening you, do feel free to drop a message to me at the A private message for nie.. message box at the bottom of my page, about me. Don't worry about the confidentiality of your message, because that comment box is only accessible by me alone.

Bring your stories in the darkness into the light, and then you will experience God's true light..

May God bless you all..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : love 

 

A cry for break-through..

March 21, 2009
Taking up the post as the prayer coordinator, I really know very little on leadership of interceding.

Recognizing every night's prayer meeting as a place for me to know my brothers and sisters in Christ more, I had misunderstood that prayer meeting was about fellowship. That misinterpretation led to my wrong leadership - instead of leading people to intercede through prayers, I always lead people to share their days and their needs; it's all about ourselves.

Until last 12th March, it started off as a normal prayer meeting. And as we shared about our ups and downs in spiritual life, somehow a calling for revival started to happen. One by one of us felt the presence of God in the prayer hut, and this is my first experience of the kind during prayer meeting. Michelle started sharing how on fire were they for prayer meeting during her time. Comparing to now, the meaning of prayer meeting really has altered - from interceding to personal sharing and having fellowship.

I was quite shocked personally for the experience I had that night. I never knew prayer could have such a power. Recalling comments people have for me about my prayer leadership, one of the few that I am aware of is that, I am always being too draggy. Pondering over it, I think it is true most of the time. I had unconsciously turned the prayer meeting into some sort of sharing like those that we have during cell group. I just feel the need to have a break-through in leading people to intercede. God has spoken to me and convicted me that I was leading the prayer meeting in the wrong way than it should be, thus, I need to do something about it instead of getting discouraged and hindering myself from serving Him more.

Here, brothers and sisters in Christ, I ask that you all keep me in your prayer. Please pray that God guide me the right way in serving Him especially in interceding for people. I really need this break-through. It's not about me being a prayer coordinator that I ask you for this support in prayer, but to me, it is essential for my spiritual growth as well. I thank you for your prayers. God bless.. ^^

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : break-through 

 

Spiritual ups and downs..

January 21, 2009
Looking at my previous post 3 days ago, it sounds so sorrowful..

Yet the next day of it, I was fine already.. Many times, it's just the manipulation of our emotions. We often think that the hard time that we face is too long for us to bear. But once we overcome it, we will slowly realize it actually didn't take so long also, only one day.. We are just not patient enough to seek for God's strength and wait for His next line of script for our life. And we like to write our own preferable 'story line'. We thought what we could think of is the best that we can have. But if it's different from God's story line for our life, then it's definitely not the best script because God will always reserve the best for us. We surely can't find any better ones from what God has rejected before He gave us what we are having now.

We all have our spiritually weak time. Thus, at this moment, we need spiritual support from our brothers and sisters around us.

"When my thoughts were bitter and my feelings were hurt, I was as stupid as an animal." ~ Psalm 73:21-22

So brothers and sisters, when I am spiritually down, please remind me of this again. Sharing it here now is to be a reminder to each other. So that when one falls down, the others can help him up again. As Paul said,

"I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you." ~ Romans 1:12

If you are still standing still in God's Word today, keep an eye for any brothers or sisters who are falling down spiritually, and remind them of these words, so that we don't leave anyone behind in our spiritual journey with God.. ^^

God loves all of us so much..

Posted by Nie Cristal

 

Father hold my hands..

January 18, 2009
God, you know what's happening to me.. Please show me a clear direction..

God, you know how my weakness contributes to worsening my growth this time.. Please guide me closely..

God, you know the best plan for me.. Please lead and discipline me to walk to that path..

God, you know I am falling down.. Please hold me up..

I thank you for this problem Lord, but grant me the strength to overcome it the way you want me to..

Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : Strength 

 

A simple gift of love for Christmas..

December 25, 2008


So this was what I had been doing from 7.30am till 12pm today - preparing some self-made buns and sending them out to families, inserted with a little card written with my blessing and God's Word.

Hmm.. This is the best idea of reaching out for God that I could think of this year aa.. So I was quite excited for it last night.

7.30am ~ mixing the dough with mummy's help (the mixer at my home is the giant size one, which is still making mummy worried if it's too heavy for me to carry alone ==")
8.00am ~ rolling and dividing the dough into smaller portions, again with mummy's help
8.10am ~ getting more nervous because mummy just left, starting to shape my so-called Christmas-candy-cane buns
8.50am ~ having just started to shape my Christmas-tree buns (well, just found out that there's no more pandan paste for green coloring at our kitchen at home ==")
9.10am ~ "Daddy! Get the steamer ready! I'm about to finish!" .. "Huh? You do it yourself la.. Just on the fire! I put water for you already!" All right, surely he was watching his fav Hindi channel in the living room.. =="
9.25am ~ "Why you on the fire so early? Your pau not yet finished growing le.." "No, daddy. I'm too slow. I get the fire ready first ma, scared the pau gets over-yeasted later.." "Aiya, not yet that one.. The water can boil quickly." "Ok lo, you go and off the fire for me first la.." "(daddy)..==" "
9.35am ~ after putting the buns into the steamer.. "You see the time now. After 15 minutes you can take it out later." "Oo.."
9.49am ~ "Daddy! Take my pau liao!" "You take it yourself la. Just off the fire and pull out the cover.." "(me"..==" "
10.00am ~ starting the second task of writing meaningful little cards to be inserted with the buns
10.45am ~ then starting to wrap the buns
12.00pm ~ finally it's done!!


~ my buns.. Not bad la ho, at least some of the Christmas-candy-cane buns really did look like one, hehee ~


~ sigh.. A green Christmas tree became a milky one, and the shape.. Hmm.. Still not very satisfying. Try again next year ~

Hmm.. I think I took quite a long process to complete my mission. But well, I really was very satisfied when I finally finished everything. I don't know how helpful is this way of reaching out for God, but I believe God has greater plans out of the simple little things that we are willing to do for Him.

So brothers and sisters in Christ, we really have to remind one another to continue reaching out to the lost souls for God with any ability that we have. If you are made to love singing, reach out by singing out God's love to people around you. If you are made to love painting, reach out by painting out God's love to people around you. If you are made to love baking, reach out by baking out God's love to people around you. If you are made to love talking, reach out by sharing God's love with people around you. There's no such thing like "I don't know what am I able to do to reach out for God".. It's only about a choice that you make.



Posted by Nie Cristal. Posted In : food 

 
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Father, please help me..

Father, why am I being like this? Not wanting to study, not even having the passion for assignments.. Lord, please do something on me..Be it a failure, a conviction, or a punishment.. I need that passion for studies like what my brothers and sisters have Father.. Lord, where is mine? I have been asking for it for 7 years since I first realized that I am lack of this passion in me.

Father, maybe it's just a matter of choice, but the problem now is I know I have to choose to study but I just always choose not to. Father how.. You fail me once please.. Or do anything which can help me find and gain that passion..

I want to be a good child of yours and daddy and mummy. I cannot always say sorry and still repeat the same thing aa.. Father, I hate the voice of devil within me Lord. In Jesus Christ's name, I bind it!

Father set me free. Thank you Lord..

~ 7th November 2008

 Being obedient to God..

I didn't know why was I grabbing extra 2 pieces of RM50 note beside what I already had in my purse before I hurried out my room for Sunday service this morning. To rationalize my weird action, I thought to myself: maybe I'll need more money if we happen to go shopping after the service.

Then we were blessed with free breakfast before the service. (Some brother in Christ treated us for that meal) Praise God for that yea..

Then everything went on as usual: reaching COP main church, singing praises to God, praying.. Oh yea, we had holy communion today. 

Somehow after singing praises, before announcement and offering session, God asked me if I were willing to give Him double of what I always give. To be honest, I did struggle awhile at first. But thanks to Holy Spirit that His voice won over my self-centredness. I finally made up my mind to obey God. But soon after that, God asked me again, "what about giving all that you have now?" This time, I struggled even more.

Then I remembered about being obedient to God, and the verse "Give, and it will be given to you" in Luke 6:38 struck me. Meditating more over these, I decided to obey God. But to be honest, of course I tended to hope for a return from God by giving Him all I had. At the same time, I kept correcting my intention. It was hard for me to overcome this incorrect intention - giving something by hoping something else as return.

So I waited until the service was over, then I took an offering envelope and went into the washroom, fulfilling my promise to God. After passing the envelope to Pastor Clement (I didn't know who else to pass it to), I felt some kind of peace in my heart. I was very satisfied of my obedience to God. I felt the same peacefulness when I went through God's test this same way for the first time. It was during our church camp one week before - the Cameron camp. 

I thought we're going back by van after the service, like how we went this morning. Anyway, we ended up taking bus back for some transportation problem. I really forgot that my purse was empty - not even a cent! Only when we were waiting for bus that I realized about it. Man, I was so embarrassed to asked for temporary 'financial help' from a brother. But praise God He opened his heart to help me.

Here is the best part. Remember I had a problem which had stolen my joy for quite sometime? The same one which I wrote about in another page - Nie's stories on 3rd September 2008. Well, I am not going to write on what's that problem about, as it's quite personal to me. But really want to share this testimony with you all.

Praise God, today on our way coming back from church, God really gave me what I've been asking Him for - obviously it's the solution to this problem I had. And man, God is great! I can't stop praising Him for His great work. I just feel like shouting I love you to Him! His plan is just too wonderful.

I don't want money. I want more of His love. And I was so greatly embraced by His love that I'm now rejoicing again, without having to carry this burden alone deep in my heart. Indeed God keeps His promise. His Word is alive! We are not worshipping a dead God nor reading false Word from the Bible. Our God is a true God, He is alive!

Of course, we don't give Him by seeking for return from Him. But we really need to keep reminding ourselves that we have only one God that we must hold on tight to - not money! And, obedience unlocks God's power!

~ 5th October 2008

 

 Our living testimony..

Last night, we were caught at the entrance of UTP by the guard as we came back from our dinner at Tronoh. It's the issue of student cards. Somehow, one brother (bro A) intended to help another (bro B) sitting at the driver seat by giving his student card to him. Then another bro (bro C) gave his IC to bro A, also out of the intention of helping.

Unfortunately, it's just so happened that the guard found out about the IC, and eventually found out the whole series of cards exchange. He scolded us. At that moment, what I had in my mind was just God's disappointment on us. I was so ashamed that I wanted to hide my face from God at that moment. But there's no way I could hide from Him, and God's conviction filled me.

I deeply realize that in our daily life, we keep sinning. Like telling lectures all kinds of excuses or lies when we are late for lectures.. We sin too much that we no longer are alert that what we're doing is actually hurting God so much. We often think that what we do are just small sins; we don't kill people or steal money. But friends, God spoke so clearly to me during the incident last night. There's no difference between so-called big sins and small sins; all are sins and all disappoint God.

I was so afraid last night. I thought, what if the guard knew that we are Christians? Weren't we giving bad testimony to the world? Wouldn't we stumble the others?

Sometimes, we really need to take care of what we say, act and think. Eyes are witnessing and observing our living testimonies everyday. We cannot afford to hurt God so much. It's hard, because no great personalities come easily. But nothing is too hard for our great God to help us if our hearts are willing to be helped.

Brothers and sisters, it's time that we need revival. Let's continue to help build each other as we live together.

God bless you all!

~ 4th October 2008

 

 Love..

The hardest value to learn is to love. Yet it's the most valuable one in God's eyes..

I fall easily for someone. As song as he (I'm not a les, I fall only for guys yea) is strong in faith and obeys God's word, plus both have mutual understanding.. Yes, it's seriously that easy.

That's why I'm very afraid of wrong signals by guys.. That's why I am always hurt by my own so-called 6th sense. Man, I'm too innocent.

Really need to build strength in this. Father you please hold my hands tight as you lead me walk through this journey of life, and never loosen your hands to watch me walk on my own from far.. I really have no one to rely on anymore besides you.

Father, you also open my heart to learn to love the way you love all of us lord. Help me love without hoping for its return Father. Here're my hands Lord..

~ 3rd October 2008

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